Thursday, February 28, 2008

vienna lit fest 2008

the programme for the vienna lit fest is now available online: lots of really interesting readings and workshops, so if you are around from 17 to 20 april, make sure you drop in! i am reading with sandra huber and sylvia petter on 17 april, 7.15 pm. and i just got a little nervous about it ...

the sun is shining, we have just watched little miss sunshine in class, and i am not 100% fit. :(

song of the day: mannen i den vita hatten by kent.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


remember the money troubles? the company that would not pay (could not pay)? i just had a pleasant surprise - and i mean, SURPRISE: when i checked my bank account just now, i saw that the company had paid me 30% of what they still owe me! there has not been a letter or email or anything, so this came out of the blue. i honestly expected never to get that money, but it looks like i was wrong! if i weren't so knackered, i'd be jumping up and down. :)

song of the day: i believe you by rotifer.

Monday, February 25, 2008


i finally heard from jessica today - my poem symmetros is part of foursquare 2.6, and i cannot wait to get my hands on my copy!

for a monday, this day was not too bad, and this evening has been positively ... stimulating. *grin*

song of the day: almost lover by a fine frenzy.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

lazy sunday afternoon ...

yeah right. i wish! i have to get loads done today, because i did not get anywhere yesterday, not really. but since prep work for tomorrow involved watching the whale rider (we're doing maori culture), it isn't quite so bad. :)

friday night was fun - sweeney todd was, erm, bloody good. :-p sabine and tom and i giggled our way through the movie and the rest of the evening.

and it's funny that when i venture out into the real world once in many weeks, i bump into three people i know! justin from my CELTA course in 2004 with his wife, then evelyn from labyrinth / open mic, and finally sharron, who was also in my CELTA class! strange too that the last time i saw justin and sharron was when they starred in a play, about 14 months ago.

i've made friends with my new laptop which is running on windows XP (ah! the relief!), flirted a little (not with my laptop), played scrabble and slept too little.

it's lovely outside today, spring weather. might persuade my inner teacher that there IS time to enjoy some sunshine ...

song of the day: never seen the light of day by mando diao.

Friday, February 22, 2008

one laptop, a name stamp, three tops, a trench coat and a pair of jeans later ...

yep. i spent loads of €€€ today. actually, no. make that L O A D S. all i wanted to do after a very nice lunch with birgit at akakiko, was check out whether a store across the street had laptops with XP installed and not the horrid, crappy vista. [insert rant here.] what i did not know before was that i would walk out with one. it actually has both vista and XP installed, but i already know what i will and won't be using. so this is the new addition to the household:

i checked out one clothes store, s. oliver, where i had never actually found anything - but today was different. of course, having lost so much weight means that i find more things to wear. the shop assistant was very sweet, and also honest enough to say "nah, that doesn't suit you" or "that's not your colour". i ended up buying three tops (one of them is this, in marjoram), a short beige trench coat, and i even found a (much-needed) pair of jeans! yay! for someone who does not normally enjoy shopping, it was surprisingly fun this afternoon. (and hooray for credit cards! *g*)

i am quite tired right now, though cheerful. and i found out that kristy bowen's billet-doux project (dancing girl press) has been finalized! the limited-edition boxes containing 15 poems by 15 female poets can be bought through dancing girl press. i am sooooo thrilled to be part of this, and i am in such excellent company - this is the line-up: jayne pupek, erin bertram, bronwen tate, cecelia pinto, shawn fawson, diane kendig, christine hamm, jeannette sayers, suzanne frischkorn, annie finch, emma bolden, julie enszer, ariana-sophia kartsonis, kelli russell agodon, and yours truly.

if i can manage to stay awake, i will be at the movies tonight, looking at mr depp.

song of the day: mercy by duffy.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

sunday girl

i'm really proud of myself because i managed not to work all day yesterday. i allowed myself some reading time, some girly book, not sophisticated at all. :) it was chilly outside, stormy, and anything from blue skies to blizzards, and it was nice to be curled up in bed (on the couch, actually, which has become my bed these past weeks) with a nice cup of cocoa & chili tea.

today, i slept "late" - or what has become "late" - ie nearly 9 o'clock, and i have been fooling around on facebook, playing some scrabble moves, on the phone to gudrun, and listening to the wonderful kitchenwitch mix cd that the lovely theresa boyar sent me. just the kind of music a girl needs. next in line: nicole's equally great mixes!

now my to do list is only about 25 entries long - easy peasy for a wonderwoman like yours truly, eh?

song of the day: sunday girl by blondie.

Friday, February 15, 2008

best of the net 2007

i almost forgot to post the link to the best of the net 2007 anthology where you can read my poem what is the sound of one hand clapping? (first published in juked). i am in excellent company: dorianne laux, simone muench, charles jensen, and another 16 terrific poets.

song of the day: waitin' for you by bob dylan.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

i'm very nearly using the f-word as a subject line.

a panic attack just hit me, pretty much out of the blue, like way back in autumn. i am not happy about this. not happy at all.

more goodies

my dear friend annette m hyder surprised me with a box of goodies - i expected her book The Real Reason the Queen Hated Snow, in exchange for my own chapbox, but she also included a beanie baby puppy, valentine's day stickers, sweets, and temporary tattoos as well as a totally cool card! so a BIG THANK YOU to annette! (and you, dear blog readers, go and get her book!)

my english lesson this morning focussed on valentine's day and romance: i had my students add definitions to "love is ..." cartoons, we discussed romantic situations, read about valentine's day and the story behind it, and also read a wendy cope poem (valentine) and a w h auden poem (O Tell Me the Truth About Love). after all the talk about romance, i felt a bit lonely. i went and changed my facebook status to "michaela wants a man. now. *g*" i am glad v-day is not as big here as it is in the states, or i would have stayed in bed today!

actually, somebody has kind of, sort of, in a way half-asked me for a date. i barely know him, and i am not sure what i think. and part of me feels .. um, not ready, really.

oh and i got a red carnation from a guy in my class, and another from one of nathan's students. :)

nic sebastian has asked me to participate in her 10 questions project. i am very honoured, esp since i am in excellent company.

i've been feeling blah the last couple of days, i hope i won't come down with the flu. :(

song of the day: because by madita.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

and another two chapbooks ...

... arrived: erin m bertram's alluvium, and theresa boyar's kitchen witch. can't wait to read them! the list of books is growing longer, and i hate having so little time for concentrating on poetry right now.

song of the day: valerie by mark ronson feat amy winehouse.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

i spoke to david bowie last night.

he was in my classroom. working on a song, apparently. you'll be happy to hear that he was very nice.

a few nights ago i dreamed that i had written a poem. of course i could not remember anything, so still no new poetry from this blocked poet.

i dream about my students a lot, and about things that go totally wrong, usually in very weird ways.

in the real world, the foo fighters really have such funny videos (long road to ruin), adele has a great voice, i really cannot stand rihanna, and they are finally playing band of horses on austrian stations. i enjoyed a couple of brit pop hours yesterday evening, some good old blur, edwyn collins, saint etienne, oasis, supergrass and such. gotta-dance-tunes. :)

still, the song of the day is not by any of them.

song of the day: waving flags by british sea power.

Friday, February 08, 2008

a tired teacher at the end of a long week

it's 9pm and i am so tired i am contemplating a very early night, and taping gilmore girls and men in trees. nearly unheard of in the michiverse!

i have been teaching a new group since monday - or rather, half a new group, since six students were in my previous class, too. it's been going really well. we have played games, the "old" and "new" ones have had a chance to get to know each other, we have done an england quiz, have read and watched a documentary about stonehenge, we have found out about london tourist attractions, planned weekend trips to london, and today my hard-working dozen produced a mini-tourist guide for london: 12 tourist attractions, 6 hotels, 6 musicals. the afternoon classes are less fun, a lot more exhausting, but at least rather well paid.

now, after ten weeks at this workplace (and it's HUUUUUUGE), i really feel like i belong, i know quite a few colleagues, and there are some lovely girls and guys. and of course i still enjoy the lunchtime-chats with nathan, though there aren't as many as there used to be, because of my busy schedule.

i've spent all week frantically trying to make up for the hours i lost on saturday, which meant very late nights. seriously late nights. barely any time for relaxing. monday was awful in that i could not stop thinking about sepp's news, not even for a second. i felt panicky most of the day, and thought i was going to go crazy. i am still angry and hurt, and my hands have felt numb several times, today after work i got a bit panicky on the bus - not sure if it was just because i have worked so much, not slept enough and was tired, or if it's got to do with the bad news i've had.

speaking of which - my granny is actually doing better than expected. thank you and big hugs to everyone who sent notes to tell me you cared.

and here is one thing that cheered me up this week, a photo of gudrun's son simon aka froggy:

song of the day: wigwam by bob dylan.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

more bad news

... since i seem to need those on a regular basis.

my mom rang me today while i was teaching, and since she knows my schedule for february, i knew it had to be important. my granny (90) collapsed on the weekend and was taken to hospital. she's been very confused these last few days, mom said that she'd tried to disconnect all sorts of tubes, and today she got up on her own and walked around (which she was not supposed to do) and fell, possibly because she got dizzy, and she fractured her femoral neck. she was being operated on at the time mom called me. she said that before the operation granny had just gone on about the pain she was in, and that she did not want to live anymore, she did not want to go on anymore. so it's not looking good.

and the weird thing is that - just as with the news of saturday - i had a premonition or whatever, a kind of vision, for lack of a better word, a while ago: me picking up the phone in a classroom and mom telling me something very similar to today's news.

i managed to finish teaching alright, but now, at home, i am just totally subdued and sad. too many goodbyes already, of late. sometimes i almost wish i believed in god. i guess i would pray for what's best for my granny, not anything that's selfish.

song of the day: the light will stay on by the walkabouts.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

what i didn't know earlier ...

... was that my weekend would also be miserable, and bring the first panic attack in weeks.

my ex-husband was going to come by for a bit to drop off a letter that had been sent to the wrong addy, knowing that i did not have much time and was entering a very stressful phase in which i'd need all my energy. after one and a half hours of small talk, as i was sitting down to get back to work, he decided to share his "news" with me.

the moment he said he had two things to say, i knew: he was moving out of our old flat. and his girlfriend's pregnant. and i had suspected it a few months ago, but then dismissed that as paranoia. i knew it would happen eventually, but so soon ... and what really pissed me off is that she got pregnant quite a bit before he was even divorced, practically five minutes after they'd met, and i think he should have told me before the divorce. i wish he had told me earlier at least, then i could have dealt with it along with the split and all that, and i would not feel like i am back at square one now when i really don't need it, and when i thought i was getting better, and more positive and all that, even getting a bit interested in men again. i really don't understand why he had to wait so long, and tell me this weekend out of all weekends, knowing how much work i had to do, and that i would not exactly do a happy dance at the news.

i just broke down and cried, and i was so angry, and then - wham! - panic, the worst attack in months. i could not breathe anymore, my hands, arms AND feet went numb, i could not speak, i nearly collapsed when i tried to stand up, and i had to take one xanor, which had me subdued within ten minutes. i lost about five hours today, and have not done half of what i intended to do, and i am getting panicky thinking about everything i need to do tomorrow, and about this week, and month, ahead of me.

thanks and big, big hugs to the bestest friend in the world, gudrun, for being there yet again.

another book and one more cd ...

... arrived in the mail yesterday: mike dockins sent me his full-length collection slouching in the path of a comet in exchange for my two chapbooks. and he threw in fame for zoe, his band clop's debut cd which i am enjoying a lot. go check clop out on myspace!

i went to the open mic yesterday evening but did not read - i just wasn't in the mood. next time. it was nice to see my poet friends again, especially since i had missed the january open mic.

i also had my hair cut yesterday - and for the first time in many years, it's not veryvery short. and why? as the zurich commercial puts it - "because change happens". :)

my weekend will be: working, dying my hair, working, tidying up a bit, some scrabble moves, working, and working some more.

my eye looks brownish green here - weird.

song of the day: an hour at lloyd's by clop.