town of three rivers - passau, april 2013

april did not only bring me a holiday in england, but also a reunion with my lovely turkish friend özge. we first met on the internet way back in the mid-nineties, saw each other in person for a day in budapest in 2002, then in vienna in 2006, and in istanbul in 2010, when heinz met her for the first time. this time we chose to meet in passau, a beautiful town on the german-austrian border, which neither of us had been to before, roughly halfway between vienna and where özge was staying at her boyfriend patrick's during her german language course.

i'd heard good things about the town, which is situated where three rivers meet: black-looking ilz, the smallest; the green river inn; and the often bluish danube. and it turned out the rumours are true. we arrived on friday evening, when it was pouring down (i seem to bring bad weather with me just about everywhere i go this spring!). still, after our happy hellos, we ventured out to café innsteg - a definite recommendation for anyone who intends to visit passau. delicious food, nice and fun company - the four of us had a great evening.

saturday was rather cool, but at least dry. we took it easy, walking along the inn, strolling through the old town with its narrow streets, beautiful buildings (cathedral, old town hall, churches, colourful houses ...), taking tons of pictures, talking, being silly. we stopped for cake in the café next to the cathedral - özge was in heaven! tough to choose only one thing from all those yummy-looking cakes, pastries, tartes, ... my rhubarb cake was ... well, mmmmhmmmm! :)

we walked up to veste oberhaus, quite an impressive fortress, which dates back to the 13th century. we also climbed one of the towers to be blown away not merely by wind, but also by gorgeous views of the town, the rivers with their three distinctive colours, and the surrounding area. another lovely dinner at an italian restaurant rounded off a wonderful day.

heinz had to leave very early on sunday, he had a hockey match scheduled for lunchtime. shame, too, especially because sunday was actually just that - a picture-book sunny day. we strolled around most of the town, then decided to take a short cruise on one of several boats. sitting on deck in the sunshine, being carried past colourful houses that reminded me both of certain parts of venice and of ceský krumlov ... bliss! a cruise makes you hungry, so we sat outside a nice little restaurant, soaking up more sunshine, watching the people - and there were plenty of them, because there was some kind of running competition on, enjoying our food and more conversation.

after such a lovely weekend, we were actually quite sad when we had to say goodbye around 4 pm. but we were also very happy about this chance to meet up again. yay for old friends!


old friends



wow! it's a banana!



rooftops



three rivers



nighttime in passau



train on the bridge



almost summer feeling



veste, anno 1299



skyline


song of the day: now or never by rachid taha feat. jeanne added.

it's monday ...

and i overslept. and was out the door within 15 minutes, because for once my hair did not stick up in all directions. boring admin stuff most of the morning. yawwwwwn.

met my friend birgit for much-needed girl talk and just-as-much-needed ice cream. :)
yesterday, much-needed and long-awaited girl talk with my friend sabine. exchanging dating stories is actually quite fun.

men are weird. unreliable, too. cowards. and did i mention, weird? yes. well. but someone told me yesterday that he's been stood up by girls a few times lately, so it must be the fashion.

this - the sun, the moon - was something i enjoyed in the company of a reliable and just-the-right-kind-of-weird man last wednesday (click to enlarge):












no poetry. but one acceptance from a zine i had long given up on.

and hey, the sun is shining, and my hair is newly hennaed.




song of the day: wildwood flower by emmylou harris & iris dement.

lazy sunday afternoon ...

yeah right. i wish! i have to get loads done today, because i did not get anywhere yesterday, not really. but since prep work for tomorrow involved watching the whale rider (we're doing maori culture), it isn't quite so bad. :)

friday night was fun - sweeney todd was, erm, bloody good. :-p sabine and tom and i giggled our way through the movie and the rest of the evening.

and it's funny that when i venture out into the real world once in many weeks, i bump into three people i know! justin from my CELTA course in 2004 with his wife, then evelyn from labyrinth / open mic, and finally sharron, who was also in my CELTA class! strange too that the last time i saw justin and sharron was when they starred in a play, about 14 months ago.

i've made friends with my new laptop which is running on windows XP (ah! the relief!), flirted a little (not with my laptop), played scrabble and slept too little.

it's lovely outside today, spring weather. might persuade my inner teacher that there IS time to enjoy some sunshine ...

song of the day: never seen the light of day by mando diao.

one laptop, a name stamp, three tops, a trench coat and a pair of jeans later ...

yep. i spent loads of €€€ today. actually, no. make that L O A D S. all i wanted to do after a very nice lunch with birgit at akakiko, was check out whether a store across the street had laptops with XP installed and not the horrid, crappy vista. [insert rant here.] what i did not know before was that i would walk out with one. it actually has both vista and XP installed, but i already know what i will and won't be using. so this is the new addition to the household:



i checked out one clothes store, s. oliver, where i had never actually found anything - but today was different. of course, having lost so much weight means that i find more things to wear. the shop assistant was very sweet, and also honest enough to say "nah, that doesn't suit you" or "that's not your colour". i ended up buying three tops (one of them is this, in marjoram), a short beige trench coat, and i even found a (much-needed) pair of jeans! yay! for someone who does not normally enjoy shopping, it was surprisingly fun this afternoon. (and hooray for credit cards! *g*)

i am quite tired right now, though cheerful. and i found out that kristy bowen's billet-doux project (dancing girl press) has been finalized! the limited-edition boxes containing 15 poems by 15 female poets can be bought through dancing girl press. i am sooooo thrilled to be part of this, and i am in such excellent company - this is the line-up: jayne pupek, erin bertram, bronwen tate, cecelia pinto, shawn fawson, diane kendig, christine hamm, jeannette sayers, suzanne frischkorn, annie finch, emma bolden, julie enszer, ariana-sophia kartsonis, kelli russell agodon, and yours truly.

if i can manage to stay awake, i will be at the movies tonight, looking at mr depp.

song of the day: mercy by duffy.

late to the party ...

the new year is almost a week old, and i am finally getting around to writing my end-of-2007 post. how pathetic is that. and even though i have had more time to think about it, i still find myself sitting here wondering what to say. now THAT is even more pathetic. *g*

we already know it was not a good year: my divorce from sepp, the financial disaster caused by venetia, all the heartache that came with my affair with nathan, the panic attacks and depression, falling out with my mother, the computer breakdown, the stolen purse and other, smaller troubles.

but of course it was not all bad.

the best thing was that so many people showed me they care. and how. my friends in vienna provided the best support a girl could wish for. my friends abroad sent me good vibes, virtual hugs and messages that occasionally made me wonder whether they were still talking about me. people i barely knew shared their experiences with me and became new friends. i don't even want to begin to imagine what i would have done without all that. so thank you. you know who you are.

of course there was something good in that love affair, though at the moment i am finding it a bit hard to see that. and that's okay, too. i still know many good poems were inspired by it, some of the music will stay with me as well, and one day i will be able to look back on the lovely days without bitterness or anger.

poetry:
45 poems were published in 2007, a handful were accepted for publication in 2008; in addition to that, the 24 secret meanings of greek letters poems in my chapbox. and of course alex's and my collaboration was accepted in the summer. one of my fibs placed second in the flashquake competition, and john vick awarded me a gift certificate. the elements series is about halfway done. i did not write nearly as much as in 2006, and i have been totally blocked since late september when the panic attacks began. but i am quite happy with some of my work.

the year also saw the publication of some photographs - the first one in lily, then in the fray published four. i really hope to place some more this year.

books:
i read a lot of poetry, particularly enjoyed galway kinnell's collection, thomas tranströmer's collection, the digerati anthology, teresa white's full-length collection and most of the chapbooks that i swapped / bought (among them, kelli russell agodon, ryan murphy, arlene ang). as for novels: jasper fforde still rules. so does terry pratchett.

music:
like almost any other year, i have made quite a few musical discoveries and been to some terrific concerts.

among the year's new favourites are regina spektor, bat for lashes, devendra banhart, pink martini, cat power, the yeah yeah yeahs, james morrison, beirut, deine lakaien, the editors, the pipettes, kristin hersh (re-discovered), scott walker (re-discovered), laura veirs.

i got to see tori amos again, loved the arcade fire and rufus wainwright concerts.

not sure what i listened to most this year, but certainly a lot of arcade fire, nellie mckay, rufus wainwright, martha wainwright, tom waits, feist, walkabouts, abba, georg danzer, muse, amy winehouse, attwenger, decemberists, belle & sebastian, billy joel, jenny lewis, kaiser chiefs, richard hawley, jarvis cocker, o brother where art thou soundtrack.

among my songs of the year (not necessarily new songs) - for all sorts of reasons:

chasing cars (snow patrol) ~ down boy (the yeah yeah yeahs) ~ trophy (bat for lashes) ~ fidelity (regina spektor) ~ the blower's daughter (damien rice) ~ your ghost (kristin hersh & michael stipe) ~ dis quand reviendras-tu (martha wainwright) ~ hey there delilah (the plain white t's) ~ diferente (gotan project) ~ santa maria da feira (devendra banhart) ~ this side of the blue (joanna newsom) ~ going to a town (rufus wainwright) ~ back to black (amy winehouse) ~ revival (the soulsavers with mark lanegan) ~ tell it to me (tom waits) ~ i see a darkness (bonnie prince billy) ~ velvet revolution (tori amos) ~ landed (ben folds) ~ 36 grad (2raumwohnung) ~ beyond the sea (robbie williams) ~ antichrist television blues (arcade fire) ~ paths of victory (cat power) ~ green fields (the good the bad & the queen) ~ majesty (madrugada) ~ please baby don't (sergio mendes feat john legend) ~ louis, louis (teitur) ~ troy (sinead o'connor) ~ tonight i have to leave it (shout oud louds) ~ young folks (peter bjorn & john with victoria bergsman).

favourite memories of 2007 include arlene's visit, hiking with my dad in the mountains near my hometown, a thunderstorm on the flight from chicago to l.a., my walks at central cemetery, holding gudrun's new baby boy for the first time, reading Open Letter to A Poet at café kafka, holding my new chapbox in my hands, meeting sarah.

i did not go to the cinema very often this year, but loved the queen, notes on a scandal, scott walker - 30th century man and savage grace. and it was great to see the third man again in the summer.

new addictions: facebook, scrabulous (very recent), grey's anatomy, nellie mckay, progressive muscle relaxation.
old addictions: gilmore girls, chocolate, photography.

and so, where am i now? this whole end-of-year-beginning-of-new-year business did not really do me good. for days around new year's, i felt like crying most of the time, especially when i was on my own. i want to believe that this year will be better, but i can't, not really. not yet, maybe. and i realised that at the age of 36 i am, for the first time in my life, scared of falling in love.

song of the day: young folks by peter bjorn & john with victoria bergsman.

hanging in there

the last few days have been rather tough. i think i had some sort of nervous breakdown on friday. it's mainly my financial situation that's worrying me - the company i have been working for owes me around €6500 ($8500) by now, and - surprise surprise! - a girl has bills to pay. it's especially tough this year as i was out of work for three months from dec to feb. sure, the company has a reason: their client, the AMS (austrian public employment service), isn't paying them. it's only about 2 million euro. [insert sarcastic laugh here.] i was informed that the whole affair has been taken to the ministry and the AMS was supposed to pay the company 3 weeks ago - doesn't look like they did. the thing is, a teacher like me can't really do anything about it. the likes of me are the weakest links. bottom of the food chain. even if it's my account that's overdrawn. even if it's me who's charged interest for that overdraft. even if i did a bloody good job, even if i showed up at work when i was sick. i cannot even begin to express how angry i am.

the weather suits my mood, i've been sleeping badly, and i've been running a temperature for a couple of days now as well (probably all that stress). that meant that i could not go to see attwenger, a terrific austrian duo, last night with my friend sabine. :(

it's back to work on tuesday - ask me how motivated i am. yep. that much. and that's no good, because it is not the students' fault, and i always expect myself to give at least 100%.

the good news is: one acceptance note from eclectica (a collaboration piece), and one from cahoots magazine (two elements prose poems) - i had given up on them, because i sent the sub in february. i'll post the links when the poems are online.

justine henin won the us open again, she's been playing amazing tennis. austrian julian knowle won the men's doubles with his swedish partner simon aspelin - that is SOOO cool! tonight's final between roger federer and novak djokovic should be interesting.

i am getting addicted to the music challenge on facebook.com. colleen was right - it does take over your life, that site!

i've seen quite a bit of my friend gudrun and her boys lately - here are a few pics:







another song of the day: you suck by the murmurs.

catching up

i have been off work since thursday: finally met gudrun for a chat, a walk, and some frozen yogurt. of course baby jakob was there, too:



here's a picture i have been meaning to take for a while now, but my older cameras just weren't good enough - with the new zoom it's no problem:



after my english class, i met gini who was one of my colleagues way back when i was still a web designer working for lion.cc. since we had not seen each other for a long time, we had lots to catch up on over our mexican dinner. afterwards - the moon behind tree branches, looking as if some night creature had bitten into it repeatedly:



yesterday i was feeling sick and i had an upset tummy all day. i still went to have my picture taken for my passport application. i bought a couple of shelves and assembled those in true DIY queen style, moved books and other stuff around, watched some french open, and slept a while, still not feeling well. and so i missed out on the last open mic before the summer. :(

today i am finally saying goodbye to my old mobile phone: it was the first one i ever got, well over 5 years ago. now i have one of those fancy ones with which i can take photos and send them, shoot videos, surf the web, receive email, listen to mp3s and the radio, and - i suspect - still make phone calls as well:



song of the day: past in present by feist.

so i didn't win ...

an academy award, but two of my poems were accepted by tattoo highway for their soon-to-be-published 14th issue:

we'd like to include both "poem with possibilities and uncertain outcome (a multiple choice poem)" and "lester lewis takes inventory after the shipwreck" in TH/14. lester was one of a very few unanimous choices. we're happy to have them both.

sojourn sent a rejection note a few days ago, and i am waiting to hear back from quite a few places.

i am still writing every day, but am feeling somewhat burned out. while arlene was here, there was some silly writing going on, but at least i kept going. here are poem titles 151 - 169:

day 151 - playing god : woman
day 152 - he says (fib)
day 153 - Thorium (Th) - þrúðvangr, between sunrise and noon
day 154 - Tungsten (W) - The day I fell in love with a light bulb
day 155 - Californium (Cf) - The day I fell in love with an invisible man
day 156 - report with bookmark
day 157 - Plutonium (Pu) - The day I fell in love with a dwarf
day 158 - Valentine
day 159 - Neptunium (Np) - The day I fell in love with a giant
day 160 - report with tombstone
day 161 - Two Donkeys (fib)
day 162 - bovine report
day 163 - sleeping beauty's first morning (fib)
day 164 - Jigsaw (fib)
day 165 - Strontium (Sr) - The day I fell in love with a Catherine wheel
day 166 - System Failure (working title)
day 167 - Yttrium (Y) - The day I fell in love with a microwave
day 168 - report with morning call
day 169 - [untitled, and top secret] (and no, this is *not* the title *G*)

my own poetry aside –

for some reason it snowed last night – i have no idea how that happened after a day that seemed like spring. some of the white stuff is still there, but thank goodness not much.

i was up all night half-watching the oscars, happy for helen mirren – she accepted her award in style, as one would expect of her. what are your impressions of the night?

i found out that tori amos is playing a concert in vienna in june – not happy with the location, not at all, but at least that wonderwoman is coming back here!

i have a job interview on wednesday – cross everything you can (yes, n, that includes your eyes).

i'm reading ilya kaminsky's dancing in odessa, c d wright's steal away, anne carson's the beauty of the husband, jane hirshfield's nine gates, and rereading wislawa szymborska's view with a grain of sand.

if you need a good laugh (and are over 18), do visit carl bryant's and my dear second spouse's blogs. you'll see why. :)

last but not least: happy birthday to a wonderful woman - my friend gudrun. we were pretty much inseparable throughout our teens and for some reason she still hasn't had enough of me. big *hug* and thank you for being there. have a great one, and we'll make up for the lack of drinks when jakob's a little older!


the sign says petting zoo.

song of the day: the long way home by tom waits.