Sunday, September 09, 2007

hanging in there

the last few days have been rather tough. i think i had some sort of nervous breakdown on friday. it's mainly my financial situation that's worrying me - the company i have been working for owes me around €6500 ($8500) by now, and - surprise surprise! - a girl has bills to pay. it's especially tough this year as i was out of work for three months from dec to feb. sure, the company has a reason: their client, the AMS (austrian public employment service), isn't paying them. it's only about 2 million euro. [insert sarcastic laugh here.] i was informed that the whole affair has been taken to the ministry and the AMS was supposed to pay the company 3 weeks ago - doesn't look like they did. the thing is, a teacher like me can't really do anything about it. the likes of me are the weakest links. bottom of the food chain. even if it's my account that's overdrawn. even if it's me who's charged interest for that overdraft. even if i did a bloody good job, even if i showed up at work when i was sick. i cannot even begin to express how angry i am.

the weather suits my mood, i've been sleeping badly, and i've been running a temperature for a couple of days now as well (probably all that stress). that meant that i could not go to see attwenger, a terrific austrian duo, last night with my friend sabine. :(

it's back to work on tuesday - ask me how motivated i am. yep. that much. and that's no good, because it is not the students' fault, and i always expect myself to give at least 100%.

the good news is: one acceptance note from eclectica (a collaboration piece), and one from cahoots magazine (two elements prose poems) - i had given up on them, because i sent the sub in february. i'll post the links when the poems are online.

justine henin won the us open again, she's been playing amazing tennis. austrian julian knowle won the men's doubles with his swedish partner simon aspelin - that is SOOO cool! tonight's final between roger federer and novak djokovic should be interesting.

i am getting addicted to the music challenge on colleen was right - it does take over your life, that site!

i've seen quite a bit of my friend gudrun and her boys lately - here are a few pics:

another song of the day: you suck by the murmurs.


Sharon Hurlbut said...

Oh Michi, that totally sucks. How long do they expect you to keep working without getting paid? I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I wish I could do something besides send a huge cyber-hug. Hang on to the good things. I'm sending positive vibes your way, and nasty, evil, killer vibes to all the politicians/bureaucrats that are preventing your being paid. Hugs and love to you!

michi said...

sharon, thanks for cheering me up!

i was not sure about posting this, because i don't want to whine and whinge in public, but i guess it DOES help to get it "out there", and a little out of one's system.

hugs back,

m x

SarahJane said...

hey -
the pizza and wine is on me next week!
very sorry to hear about that - i do hope the idiots work it out soon. I mean, austrian unemployment is so low, there is surely money in the govt's cashbox. make the transfer, folks! Anyone would understand being demotivated, but also how you feel sorry for your students.
Congrats on your acceptances. Good to hear.

michi said...

sarah - i guess it's all about playing games. and - what a surprise! - it is at someone else's expense.

don't worry about the pizza & wine, we'll go dutch on that. or i'll buy dessert. do you like chocolate ice cream? *g*

thanks for caring.

m x

Liz said...

Hi Michi,

I've just been catching up on all your news - hey you've been on a roll - congrats on the Best of the Net nomination and hey I'm so thrilled about your collaboration project with Alex taking off - I remember those poems from 30:30 : )

Congrats on the Eclectica and Kaleidowhirl acceptance as well - I keep getting 'you're nearly there' responses from Eclectica but can't quite make it in there...!!

That's awful about you being owed so much money - it has happened to me here as well but never that amount! Gosh - do they think people can live on thin air? The plus side is receiving it all in one lump sum, it will make you feel rich even if only for a short instance : )


michi said...

hi liz - thanks for dropping in, and actually reading the old news! and for the congrats and kind words, too, of course. :)

yes, alex and i are pretty thrilled re the chapbook!

sorry to hear about eclectica - they seem to like both arlene and me there ... which is nice. i am sure you will make it some day soon. keep trying.

yep, that financial situation is no fun. i will not feel rich by the time i get the money, because by then all those bills will have piled up, and there will be nothing left anyway. it's critical at the moment, and i am not exaggerating. bastards. *sigh*

m x