Tuesday, February 05, 2008

more bad news

... since i seem to need those on a regular basis.

my mom rang me today while i was teaching, and since she knows my schedule for february, i knew it had to be important. my granny (90) collapsed on the weekend and was taken to hospital. she's been very confused these last few days, mom said that she'd tried to disconnect all sorts of tubes, and today she got up on her own and walked around (which she was not supposed to do) and fell, possibly because she got dizzy, and she fractured her femoral neck. she was being operated on at the time mom called me. she said that before the operation granny had just gone on about the pain she was in, and that she did not want to live anymore, she did not want to go on anymore. so it's not looking good.

and the weird thing is that - just as with the news of saturday - i had a premonition or whatever, a kind of vision, for lack of a better word, a while ago: me picking up the phone in a classroom and mom telling me something very similar to today's news.

i managed to finish teaching alright, but now, at home, i am just totally subdued and sad. too many goodbyes already, of late. sometimes i almost wish i believed in god. i guess i would pray for what's best for my granny, not anything that's selfish.

song of the day: the light will stay on by the walkabouts.


SarahJane said...

sorry to hear that, michi. i had a similar situation with my grandmother who at 94 also didn't want to go on living. She complained a lot and who could blame her. It's not meant to be funny but it was a relief when she lost her mind a little bit, as she found other things to talk about. Anyway, i'm sorry about your granny and hope she's comfortable.
best, sarah

Collin said...

So sorry to hear this, Michi. I'm keep you and your granny in my thoughts.

Cheryl said...

Oh, Michi. I am sorry. I remember that my mother- in -law got so sick of living in a wrecked body that she couldn't talk about much else but "getting her ticket".

I took a peek at your chapbox today. Very rich and gorgeous writing. More on that later...

Ruahines said...

Kia ora Michi,
My thoughts are with your granny. I lost both of mine over 20 years ago now, and still miss them. You also have so many really good things in your life. All I can say again is Kia ka ha.
Ka kite,

michi said...

you are all wonderful. my granny is doing better than expected, thanks for caring.

hugs, m

SarahJane said...

glad to hear that.