since i last blogged ...

... i saw my canadian friend colleen again - 11 years after we'd first met in new zealand ...




... and heinz & i paid a visit to ms horowitz who's growing fast and is no longer toothless.




... winter still has not quite gone ...




... although spring made an appearance in styria in mid-march.




... i said goodbye to my lovely english II class ...




... and i've been translating like crazy.




... i've had a poem published in ether magazine ...




... and fish have come and gone at naschmarkt.




... i've kissed heinz once or twice ...




... and have started to pack, because i am moving in with heinz, hoping to be all done by the end of april!




song of the day: la celestina by lhasa.

teaching girl & party girl

i am not looking forward to tomorrow - time to say goodbye to my current students. they gave me some health food (ie chocolates) and lovely flowers on friday, and in return i took photos of them working hard.

andy's notoriously strange dress sense
("i want to be a bunny!")

hard-working students:
andi, nadine, irene (front left) - claudia, werner (front right) - martha, doro (back left) - margaret, robert, mahmoud (back right)

team-working: margaret, mahmoud, robert (aka rüdiger)

of course, on weekends respectable teachers turn into party girls ...

i had sort of accepted the fact that nothing was happening on the weekend, but then my delightfully weird friend ronnie emailed me around six on saturday to ask whether i was "going to ruth & bruno's party at andino" as he and alina (an open mic friend) were going. the obvious question was: "who are ruth and bruno?" turns out they are open mic people, and i never knew their names. to cut a long story - involving several highly philosophical digressions, discovery of ronnie's make-up problems and musings about female suicide bombers' sweet hereafter - short: we got to the party around nine, were surprised it was a wedding party (r&b had gotten married on friday) but were obviously very welcome. everyone was lovely.

we met three very dangerous italians - daniele, paolo and fabrizio, bumped into harold who is also an open-mic-er, were happy to see alina around 10.30, laughed a lot and enjoyed music by goran bregovic and such. ronnie left around midnight, and at about half past midnight, the dancing began. and boy, did we dance! it was absolutely great, and such fun! we were asked to call it a day around five or whatever time it was ... but upstairs they were still playing music, so we hung out there until after six. not that we went home at that point. instead we spent over an hour standing in the chilly morning air under a perfect blue sky, passing a bottle of red wine, eating leftover cake, taking silly photos, listening to music and almost-dancing. the police stopped to tell us not to be too noisy, and we did our best.

isn't it funny how those nights when you don't have any expectations turn out to be the best? i cannot remember the last time i came home from a party at eight in the morning! and i was not even tired until about 40 minutes later as i found myself sitting down for more than ten minutes for the first time in ages.

here are some pics - not great quality, because they were taken with my mobile, but i guess you can see we were enjoying ourselves.

crazy party people: bruno-the-groom, nicolas, paolo, daniele, and me

two very dangerous italian brothers: fabrizio and daniele

bruno & paolo

breakfast!

paolo - a penny for his thoughts ...

song of the day: bella ciao by goran bregovic.

milestone and dateline and lots of laughter

so. this girl slept in her bed for the first time in a few months last night! i had actually been thinking about it for a couple of days now, and yesterday it just felt right. i slept very well, too, thank you. so - the sofa is now a sofa again, and not michi's bed.

okay, now, is the correct definition of dateline a series of dates? *g* i seem to have thrown myself on the market, and i am beginning to enjoy myself. i had a date yesterday evening, with yet another facebook friend, howard, who's originally from canada. of course, me being austrian, and him canadian, we had to go to an aussie pub! it was fun. lots of music talk, and i guess most of you know that i am a sucker for that. music, er, rocks! :)

amazing, but true - four days after the weekend, my flat is still clean and tidy and i have even managed to hang up most clothes after taking them off. do i need to start worrying?

i had my first chocolate ice cream of the season at tichy's across the street last night. of course, like every year, winter made a comeback as soon as the ice cream parlour opened. today, it snowed about 27 times, in between we had sunshine, rain, a thunderstorm, and all of the above at once. not nice. this girl is all for spring!

most of my green muffins and cookies did not survive st patrick's day. my students did. ;) it's been a good week; more fun in class today. here are my two "old guys from the muppets show", aka werner and mahmoud, laughing their, um, butts off (excuse the poor quality - mobile phone, and not exactly close-ups). and just because nadine said "i am cooking him tonight". ;)







song of the day: constant craving by k d lang.

no more sick girl!

this girl is no longer sick. well, sure, some people would start coughing discreetly if they caught me claiming that, but they're all friends of mine, so that's alright. ;)

it was soooooo lovely to see my students' faces light up on seeing *this* girl and not a sub-girl (or guy). it was also nice to have a guest speaker in my afternoon class, which meant i could get some prep work done and actually get paid for that (and playing scrabulous *g*).

this bug-free girl went to the poetry reading on friday - it was rather quiet, some of the usual suspects were missing. i rdead, but was not too happy with my performance. maybe because i was not sure about what to read, up until the last moment. and perhaps because my mind was elsewhere, at least part of the time. ;)

this single girl didn't have such a great saturday afternoon: decided to finally put all things wedding in a box - dress, bag, cards, etc - and had a bit of a breakdown. strange mood ensued. thanks again to the wonderfully wise, witty & lovely nicole for cheering up (and on). and to v. for making me laugh. repeatedly.

this smart girl finally beat david at scrabble ... and he sooo deserved this revenge of the most scrabulous woman!

this girl was positively bouncy today. spring in the air?

and this girl has the song of the day looped in her mind (does that make me loopy?) -

song of the day - with a nod to valerio: start wearing purple by gogol bordello.

more goodies

my dear friend annette m hyder surprised me with a box of goodies - i expected her book The Real Reason the Queen Hated Snow, in exchange for my own chapbox, but she also included a beanie baby puppy, valentine's day stickers, sweets, and temporary tattoos as well as a totally cool card! so a BIG THANK YOU to annette! (and you, dear blog readers, go and get her book!)

my english lesson this morning focussed on valentine's day and romance: i had my students add definitions to "love is ..." cartoons, we discussed romantic situations, read about valentine's day and the story behind it, and also read a wendy cope poem (valentine) and a w h auden poem (O Tell Me the Truth About Love). after all the talk about romance, i felt a bit lonely. i went and changed my facebook status to "michaela wants a man. now. *g*" i am glad v-day is not as big here as it is in the states, or i would have stayed in bed today!

actually, somebody has kind of, sort of, in a way half-asked me for a date. i barely know him, and i am not sure what i think. and part of me feels .. um, not ready, really.

oh and i got a red carnation from a guy in my class, and another from one of nathan's students. :)


nic sebastian has asked me to participate in her 10 questions project. i am very honoured, esp since i am in excellent company.


i've been feeling blah the last couple of days, i hope i won't come down with the flu. :(

song of the day: because by madita.

(chap)books are piling up ...

... in casa michi! in the mail today: jayne pupek's Forms of Intercession; jared michael wahlgren's chariots of flame; steve mueske's Whatever the Story Requires. now all i need is time ...

apart from weekends being a) too short, b) filled with work, c) incredibly stormy and rainy, they also sometimes start with a trip to the dentist. had to go friday evening, because one of the teeth that had caused problems a couple of years ago was definitely not alright. things are made difficult by my dodgy, tight root canals, and the doctor said that if what she tried on friday won't work ... well, it might have to come out. and my teeth don't just "come out". my teeth need to be dug out. torn out. drilled out. i don't even want to think about the agony i went through a couple of years ago. enough to last me a lifetime!

nine hours in class today, pretty much non-stop. two groups. we watched an episode of blackadder this morning, and monty python's quest for the holy grail, and we listened to monty python songs. it's my last day with that group tomorrow. :(

little miss m is knackered and will watch grey's anatomy now.

song of the day: running for our lives by marianne faithfull.

prep work queen

*phew* sometimes i wonder how i am going to handle the workload in january - i will seriously have to cut down on being-creative-&-wanting-to-do-everything-myself, prep-work-wise. i've just finished everything that needed to be done for my christmas lessons tomorrow and on friday - thank goodness i had some old material, but i added lots of new stuff as well, mainly songs plus worksheets: from silent night (gorgeous version by mahalia jackson!) to fairy tale of new york (check this out - thanks to chris for sending the link) via grandma got run over by a reindeer (the irish rovers) and christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis (tom waits). *g* diversity rules!

i am not, however, feeling any more christmas-y after going through tons of songs and lyrics and other christmas- related stuff. but then, why would things be different this year?

i have time off over the holidays - friday is the last day for this year, classes begin again on the 2nd. wow. 2008. those 2000-something dates still seem rather odd to me, somehow unreal. i'll be off to my hometown on saturday to be with my folks for a few days.

everyone was really tired today, including me; i have so gotten used to the after-work chat with nathan that i really missed it today - i guess he only pretended not to be there, when really he doesn't want to talk to me anymore after my acceptance note from qarrtsiluni; i had a rejection note from mimesis (*sob*) but with some very nice notes and an invitation to send more work; the company i worked for in amstetten are finally paying me (about bloody time too!); saw the doctor yesterday - still on the same medication (me, not him), though i have a feeling he has considered / is considering increased dosage yet again.

off to bed now, leaving you my favourite christmas tune:



song of the day: fairy tale of new york by the pogues feat kirsty maccoll.

good things

one good thing about having a chapbook out is that one can swap it for other people's books. in the mail today: andrew shields' bilingual cabinet d'amateur. i look forward to reading it. in the mail yesterday: payment from my friend chris - bill bryson's shakespeare.

my students really got into their restaurant role play today - one team ended up having to "call the police" to kick out a bunch of "drunk guests". :)

after work, my colleague nathan said to me: "you're hot, michi."
okay, i made him say it.
and we were really only talking about temperature. you know, hot as in "not cold". but it was still nice to hear it from a man. :-p

loch raven review accepted four of the nine or ten poems i sent them for their winter issue! editor chris george asked me to send my chapbook so they might do a review. yay!

aaaaand i just found out that my favourite live band ever, kaizers orchestra, are playing at arena in vienna in april! woo-hoo!! another chance to see their singer take off his jacket. and shirt. and who knows ... *g*



song of the day: ompa til du dør by kaizers orchestra.

another sunday blog post

my first week with the new group of students went really well. they're nice, they want to learn, and we are having fun, too. more good news - i have been offered additional classes from mid-january! this means teaching up to 42,5 hours per week for a while, but i desperately need the money, and it's not too much prep work, because i will be teaching similar levels. and anyway, i can do that for a while.

i wish somebody had told me about progressive muscle relaxation 15 years ago. it's wonderful. sometimes i nearly doze off, and you can hardly be more relaxed than that, right? i have also started psychotherapy. we'll see if this therapist is "right" for me. i had to cancel my doctor's appointment for this week, due to work, but i am going on tuesday. i woke up with a panic attack yesterday morning at 6 - the first in a while. it was not *that* bad, i managed to calm down and go back to sleep eventually. today, i have had numb fingers several times, and i had another attack earlier. so far, i have not taken a pill, but if i keep feeling panicky, i might have to reconsider. :(

i am still not writing. i don't like it, but there seems to be nothing i can do. i have not been reading much poetry either, only ryan murphy's down with the ship; i am in love with a couple of his poems. am currently reading nick hornby's the complete polysyllabic spree, a book about reading/books, and the kind of book that makes you want to take six months off, head to a bookstore, max out your credit card and read read read.

i've been socialising some - hung out with nathan and ronnie at the café kafka most of wednesday afternoon (how decadent), and went to a party disguised as a vernissage on friday evening. on show were eva schuster's beautiful jewellery and leopold schuster's artwork: pencil on paper, plaster, and a mummy. i am now austria's first official mummy groupie - i named him poldi. it'll also be interesting to see if there are any long-term effects caused by spending about an hour in front of a huge drawing of a vagina. someone was taking pictures at the party, i'll post a link if they ever go online.

yesterday i had some close friends (my first-aid-team of the past 3 months or so) over to celebrated my birthday. here are a few pictures:


andi trying to look meeeean (and failing)



dreamy babs



my youngest guest: jakob



michi after half a glass of wine ...



it wasn't really *that* kind of party ...

and now i have to stop procrastinating. prep work to do, christmas cards to write, chapbooks to put into envelopes.

song of the day: dis quand reviendras-tu by martha wainwright.

lazy sunday afternoon

first of all, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes that reached me via email, blog comments, e-cards, phone, and in person! you made my day. :)

i cannot quite believe it, but my six weeks in amstetten are over! it's been fun, the commuting was not bad, actually, and i will miss some of my students. we went out for lunch on friday, which was very nice - there was a lot of laughter and teasing. thanks to nathan, one of my open mic acquaintances, i heard about a job teaching english here in vienna, and i got it! i am starting tomorrow. it's 21 hours per week, until the end of january. that's almost too good to be true, i was getting really worried, because i had nothing for the rest of the year. that's one load off my shoulders for a little while. (and no, it certainly isn't for the company who still owe me all that money!)

i am still feeling nauseous quite often, due to the meds, but at least i have not had a panic attack in a while. i do feel anxious at times, but i can control it better. i have now begun with progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), a technique developed by edmund jacobson. too soon to say anything about effects, but i'll certainly blog about it some more.

poetry-wise: nothing. :( i am supposed to be sending out subs today, but i am feeling a little blah: sore throat, tired, temperature is a bit higher than it should be. but then, nothing is wrong with a lazy day, right?

here's a cool song:



song of the day: trophy by bat for lashes.

All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better

my business english class in amstetten is going well. i have 15 students aged 25 to 60, they really want to learn, are not afraid to talk, and are having fun. i am not really teaching specific business related topics yet, but revising tenses and building vocab, still getting a feel for how much they know / remember (more than i expected, actually). i don't really mind the train journey all that much. i borrowed a laptop, so i can work, write emails and such on the way to and from work, and that's two and a half hours every day. and since we are starting at 9 instead of 8 in the morning, i only have to get up about five to ten minutes earlier than i last did when starting class at 8 in vienna. the morning light is fantastic, one day it was beautifully foggy with the sun a dark yellow disc behind the mist, and today i saw some deer grazing near the train track.

i am still feeling nauseous every morning, though not as dizzy as i used to the first couple of days. on wednesday i had a bad panic attack. i started to feel anxious on the tram home, it was really packed, and i always feel uncomfortable on crowded public transport these days. i tried to stay calm, succeeded for a while, but on my way home from the supermarket, it got too much. i tried to control it somehow, but decided to take half a xanor after about 20 minutes. it made me very tired, i fell asleep for a while, and i felt subdued for quite a while after waking up, and nauseous, too. after taking the pill, i got really angry - angry with this ... this "thing", this illness that is taking control of my life. i found myself sobbing with frustration, banging my fist against the wall.

i know there are worse things than having panic attacks and mild depression for six weeks, but that doesn't mean i have to be okay with it, does it?

the weather broke today. beautiful indian summer changed to clouds, rain, and the forecast for the weekend is really bad - strong wind, rain, sleet, even a possibility of snow - and not just in the mountains. ugh.

been listening to regina spektor a lot this afternoon, so here are some of her words ("fidelity"):

And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you
kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose you never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs
just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

song of the day: fidelity by regina spektor.

this is what you get ...

... when you enjoy what you do, and you - apparently - do something right:


"woman of the year"

this is what my students (sandra, renate, margit, piroska, nadine, uschi, hilde, susanne, sabina, irene and michi) awarded me today, last day of class. what a lovely idea, i was both tickled pink and touched. they also gave me a book with photos and poems, a chocolate bar, and a card which they did not simply sign, but in which they left a few personal messages. it's wonderful to touch people's lives like that.

song of the day: 1234 by feist.

life, poetry, and movies

i know it's been a while since i last blogged, but i've been busy. the week before last was, to put it mildly, not one of my best, and i felt like troubles were hitting me left, right, and centre. if it weren't for some wonderful friends, i would have gone mad. on the plus side: i had a job interview on wednesday, and something may come of that in the future, who knows. on friday, however, i got a phone call from another place where i'd recently sent my CV, and they asked me if i was available, like, *now*. so, some good news at last.

i started teaching at that place, venetia, on tuesday - one ECDL class from 8-12 and one, for beginners, from 1-5. it's quite a lot, teaching 8 hours every day, especially since many of my students are either real beginners or haven't used computers much and there are 15 of them in each group, but most of the people are nice, and i have already had lovely feedback. :) and i really did miss teaching. this is for four weeks, then we'll see. there is a slight chance i might be able to go back to where i worked before, but i have also been offered another 4-week class by venetia.

my old computer had been giving me a hard time for a while, and i had to go and buy a new computer, even though i soooo can't afford it. it's got windows vista - and if you can, stay away from it. i already dread teaching it some day. poor beginners - it's going to be really, really tough for them. but it's still good to be working on a computer that doesn't crash every 20 minutes.

congratulations are in order for my "little" brother martin, who passed his final exams (masters degree in history) with distinction - which was to be expected, but it's still very cool news! he's going for his ph.d. now ...

yesterday was the first day in nearly half a year that i did not write a poem. i reached day 180 of a-poem-a-day on thursday - unbelievable. i never ever thought i could keep going so long. here are poem titles 170 - 180:

day 170 - Unrequited (Sonnenizio on a Line from Barber)
day 171 - bride, unveiled
day 172 - proposal on the phone (fib)
day 173 - Night Blindness
day 174 - Matte
day 175 - now part III of the poem "rosary"
day 176 - now part II of the poem "rosary"
day 177 - now part I of the poem "rosary"
day 178 - report with weight loss
day 179 - between the lines (fib)
day 180 - report with a little selfishness

i am very grateful for steve's assignment #3 at his workshop - browsing poetry collections for words and using them to write a new poem. apart from the poem i wrote for that assignment (bride, unveiled), that list also inspired Night Blindness, Matte, and rosary.

two of my poems were accepted by bent pin quarterly for their inaugural issue: the art of letting go and Xenon (Xe) - The day I fell in love with a Geissler tube - one of my recent prose poems.

i had a couple of rejections, sent out some more submissions, and am still waiting to hear back from quite a few places.

my fib to forget him, which won second place in the flashquake contest, can now be read in flashquake's latest issue.


spring seems to have arrived early this year, after an unusually mild winter - it's lovely outside, trees are beginning to blossom, flowers are coming out, and the sun is shining.

i've been tagged quite a while ago, to list my ten favourite films - which is impossible for me to do. i love so many movies, i cannot pick only ten. so i made this list and tried to consider different genres, but it is by no means a complete list, and it is in no particular order:

The Piano
Amélie
The Apartment
Dancer in the Dark
Trois Couleurs: Bleu (Three Colours: Blue)
Down By Law
La Vita E Bella (Life Is Beautiful)
The Shawshank Redemption
Notting Hill
Pulp Fiction

some that should be on the list, too: Four Weddings and A Funeral, Love ... Actually, Dogville, Breaking the Waves, The Postman, Lost in Translation, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Ice Age, Muriel's Wedding, Casablanca, Boys Don't Cry, C'era Una Volta Il West (Once Upon A Time in the West), Life of Brian, ...

i tag whoever has not made a list yet, and wants to play.

song of the day: theme from Once Upon A Time in the West by ennio morricone.