it's snowing again

but this post is not about snow. except maybe to say that the funny little styrofoam-like snow"flakes" yesterday after work looked rather cute on my new red coat and the black scarf.

bob hewis put on one of his many personas on thursday evening, got out his guitar and played johnny cash songs to a mostly appreciative audience (yes i am talking about YOU two guys and one girl in the corner who would not shut up even during the quieter songs!) at verein08 in vienna. i was especially pleased to hear a song originally written by will oldham (aka bonnie prince billy) called i see a darkness, hurt, and when the man comes around. and yes, bob, you are right: there *is* something sexy about tennessee stud. ;)

i had an hour to catch up on things with birgit on monday, i did not make it to one of the many christmas markets with a couple of friends on tuesday evening because i had a killer headache, i had some lovely girl talk with ms hillary keel on thursday afternoon, i missed my friend bo's emails as well as chatting with gudrun this week, i have become addicted to grey's anatomy, i looooooove my new red coat, and i enjoy the winding-down-after-work sessions with nathan.

i dragged myself to the company christmas party yesterday evening, after having fallen asleep during my PMR exercises, but it was actually quite nice - especially seeing my ex-colleagues from the good old floridsdorf days. the food was lovely as usual, and all i drank was still water.

a long chapter was closed last night when i followed my instincts and made a phone call. the story was one of love and lies, promises and passion, hope and disappointments, happiness and hurting, hellos and goodbyes, longing and loss, and i was one of the three main characters - alongside another woman and a man - and nobody won in the end. i was actually pleasantly surprised by the conversation and felt strangely relieved after the phone call, and calmer than i had in a long time.

song of the day: i see a darkness by bonnie prince billy. even though everything is not bleak today. but it is a beautiful song.

another sunday blog post

my first week with the new group of students went really well. they're nice, they want to learn, and we are having fun, too. more good news - i have been offered additional classes from mid-january! this means teaching up to 42,5 hours per week for a while, but i desperately need the money, and it's not too much prep work, because i will be teaching similar levels. and anyway, i can do that for a while.

i wish somebody had told me about progressive muscle relaxation 15 years ago. it's wonderful. sometimes i nearly doze off, and you can hardly be more relaxed than that, right? i have also started psychotherapy. we'll see if this therapist is "right" for me. i had to cancel my doctor's appointment for this week, due to work, but i am going on tuesday. i woke up with a panic attack yesterday morning at 6 - the first in a while. it was not *that* bad, i managed to calm down and go back to sleep eventually. today, i have had numb fingers several times, and i had another attack earlier. so far, i have not taken a pill, but if i keep feeling panicky, i might have to reconsider. :(

i am still not writing. i don't like it, but there seems to be nothing i can do. i have not been reading much poetry either, only ryan murphy's down with the ship; i am in love with a couple of his poems. am currently reading nick hornby's the complete polysyllabic spree, a book about reading/books, and the kind of book that makes you want to take six months off, head to a bookstore, max out your credit card and read read read.

i've been socialising some - hung out with nathan and ronnie at the café kafka most of wednesday afternoon (how decadent), and went to a party disguised as a vernissage on friday evening. on show were eva schuster's beautiful jewellery and leopold schuster's artwork: pencil on paper, plaster, and a mummy. i am now austria's first official mummy groupie - i named him poldi. it'll also be interesting to see if there are any long-term effects caused by spending about an hour in front of a huge drawing of a vagina. someone was taking pictures at the party, i'll post a link if they ever go online.

yesterday i had some close friends (my first-aid-team of the past 3 months or so) over to celebrated my birthday. here are a few pictures:


andi trying to look meeeean (and failing)



dreamy babs



my youngest guest: jakob



michi after half a glass of wine ...



it wasn't really *that* kind of party ...

and now i have to stop procrastinating. prep work to do, christmas cards to write, chapbooks to put into envelopes.

song of the day: dis quand reviendras-tu by martha wainwright.