words, colours, feelings & other stuff

apart from that fantastic leonard cohen concert, life has not been tooooo bad either. *g*

i was rather spontaneously invited to read as special guest at the first café kafka open mic after the summer break - and of course i didn't decline. the atmosphere was great, i was quite relaxed, apart from the little bit of nerves that are part of it all. i read for about 25 minutes, poems from my chapbooks and others, and i was happy with my performance. i feel so at home there that it's almost like being in my own flat. and reading without the mic is so liberating and great that i am wondering why i never tried it before that technical breakdown a few months ago.


me at café kafka after my reading


october has been beautiful lately, blue skies and ahhhh the light! so, so amazing, and it's no wonder that this is my favourite time of the year. i was out taking pictures several times over the last couple of weeks, but i have had no time to edit anything.


busy bright bluish beetle



fragile: blossoms, leaf, snail @ donaupark


work is going well. my english class is great, they are so talkative, which makes speaking activities real fun. i can't believe that this is already week 4! i've had a few job offers, but i have to decline just about everything these days.

one other thing that is still fairly new is that i am now an ex-single, and have been for some weeks. the man in question is not a poet, he is not a native speaker of english, and he is not the dangerous heartbreaking kind that this girl has fallen for time and again. meet heinz:


h&m



mirror, mirror



three guys and barbapapa (on tv, not in the picture! *g*): jakob, simon, heinz


tomorrow, my poet friend john siddique arrives around lunchtime, and i am sooooo looking forward to seeing him, and to wour reading on thursday. now if only my temperature went down, and i could breathe through my nose, and my voice were back ... *s*

if you happen to be in vienna on thursday, 16 october, drop in at shakespeare & company bookshop, sterngasse 2, 1010 vienna, from 7.30 pm.


song of the day: los peces by lhasa .

the working life and the other life

my english III class ended on wednesday - my farewell presents from my lovely students were two books, one about alaska (i had mentioned it was my big dream to go there) and a survival handbook (to avoid meeting the same fate as chris mccandless of into the wild), chocolate for comfort and tissues to dry my tears. :)

i had a reunion with some students of the previous english group last weekend - unfortunately some could not make it, and some did not show up, which i found disapppointing. but it was lovely to see those who were there!

more work for me: monday i started working afternoons as well as mornings. what i am doing is new for me. i'm working with under 21's, helping them with job-hunting, preparing them for job interviews, personality development, etc. georg, who is responsible for the english trainings and this q4u project, said i was his first choice for the job, which is nice feedback. :) the good thing is that i will not have to worry about finding work the rest of the year, the down side is the commuting that takes up my one-hour lunch break. it's quite nice that one of my ex-colleagues, heinz, is now working at the same office again, and one of our old colleagues, franz, works downstairs for another company. :) so far, things are going okay, though a couple of the youngsters can be quite a pain in the butt at times. ;)

i also had to turn down two jobs on tuesday - one translation job, and one as a business english trainer. much better than last year when i was so worried about not finding enough work!

* * * * *
me and my tattoo are both fine - it is healing well, and i am very happy with it. i guess i am getting another one done on my birthday, although i actually feel like doing it sooner. but i will have to figure out what and where. maybe alice, the wonderland girl.

* * * * *
i met poet cecilia woloch on thursday, she was reading at shakespeare & co in vienna's first district with my friend hillary keel. i fell in love with cecilia's poetry straight away. check her out on the web!

and yesterday it was kafka time again - open mic sans mic, this time, due to a missing cable. and i swore right after my five minutes that i would not use the mic there ever again - i felt so, hm, i guess, liberated. i have come to really enjoy reading, but i never feel absolutely comfortable with the mic. and yesterday it was almost like trying it out at home! i read two of my alice poems (the first two when you follow the link) and got looooovely feedback from several people.

girl not quite able to pull off the missing-someone-look amidst all the laughter


all in all i thought the quality of the poetry and stories was particulary good last night. hillary keel - yesterday's MC - kicked the reading off, we heard work by jean almeida, sylvia petter, carlota rokita, evelyn holloway, nathan horowitz, der kosmonaut, horst prillinger as well as some first-timers and special guest cecilia woloch. she is quite a lovely person and her poetry really is beautiful. steve gander finished off a sometimes very raunchy evening with his classic song "copulate and populate". yay!

special guest cecilia woloch


kafka laughter: sylvia petter, cecilia woloch, bob hewis, hillary keel


steve gander in action


i went to salz&pfeffer with sandro miori to talk business (website) until about 02.45 and i did not actually get to bed until nearly 5!

bottle shapes

quote of the night: "try to unblur your face! you're moving in six different directions at the same time!" (nathan to me, trying to take a picture entitled "girl missing mexican")

* * * * *
today, the unthinkable happened: i bought a dress. my first in i-don't-know-how-long (except wedding dress and a ball gown). so, unless i take it back to the shop, some of you might actually get to see me in it.

ah yes, and the euro2008 has finally begun. let the next few weeks pass by quickly. please.


song of the day: cut here by the cure.

another late poetry night

i'm really getting good at this ... staying out way later than i intend to, that is. :)

on friday i received an invitation to some sort of "spontaneous open mic" sat evening at a placed called "time". (i like that. "a place called time".) when i got there at 9, peter waugh was there setting things up, and the musicians for the night were there, too: martin schönlieb (guitar), sandro miori (sax, flute), and steve gander (guitar, vocals). the only one i did not know was poet/singer leila thigpen. ronnie showed up, also oxana from the lit fest, harold, a few friends of martin's, and a handful of other kafka people. so, not a big crowd. but it was a lovely evening. i only regretted not bringing more of my poetry, because i was asked to read twice - 3 poems each time, half of them from my first chapbook, and a few erotic poems for practice. peter also asked me to read two sound poems with him and leila. i had never done anything like that before, but it went really well, i think.

i enjoyed the performances, the musicians were excellent. martin and sandro played a few things together, also something with steve, and they accompanied some of the poems, even one of mine! i could not believe that it was 1.15 by the time we finished, time went so quickly!

the oddest thing that happened was when this (drunk) guy at the bar stopped me on my way back from the bathroom to ask about the event, and eventually asked me whether i was a member of "that group, that club or whatever it is". and i explained that we were not a club, but that we met at literary events and read together and such. and then he asked me whether i was their groupie, and which of the guys i sleep with. i was speechless, otherwise i would have said "all of them".

we hung around a while, peter, steve, martin, sandro, christian and i, and then decided to go and eat. good thing there are places like salz & pfeffer where you get really nice food from midnight until 8 am. peter and steve were supposed to join the rest of us but never showed up. anyway, we had a good time, and i did not get home until about 4 am! :)

i look forward to working with martin and sandro at the reading on friday, and listening to more of their music. we are having rehearsals on tuesday and thursday, one with the musicians. it should all be good fun!

* * * * *
now for something completely different: if you have not seen the austrian academy award winning film die fälscher (the counterfeiters) yet, make sure you do. it is really worth seeing. after our recent visit there, it was also interesting that a part of the movie was set at mauthausen concentration camp.


song of the day: quedate luna by devendra banhart.

Älgar i Österrike & adiós a un mexicano

my wonderful swedish friend lotta and her husband janne came to vienna for a few days on 27 april. we spent what was left of sunday evening together, because janne had to start sampling austrian beers and of course we had some chatting to do.

on monday we got a little sunburnt while having lunch at museumsquartier, and planned our day trip to mauthausen.


tourists in the rain:
lotta, janne, me, valerio


i had long wanted to go to mauthausen to see the former concentration camp where more than 200 000 people from all over europe were imprisoned and about half of them killed. lotta and janne were interested in seeing it, and valerio joined us for the day. janne was our driver, and i his co-driver - and i hardly ever got us lost. *g* the weather was quite horrible - rainy, windy and cold, and in a way that was appropriate.

i still cannot quite find the words to describe what it was like to be there, to walk into the cells, the gas chambers, the crematorium, to stand on the spot where countless people were shot in the neck. everybody went absolutely quiet in there, even the groups of students, and everybody seemed to want to be by themselves. i felt this pressure on my chest - and lotta described it the same way. as if breathing got somehow more difficult. as if it were a little more of an effort. a few months ago i could not have gone there, i would have panicked. even now, feeling so much better and with the medication, i felt a little claustrophobic.

yes, i cried. and i was not the only one. and in such a place, it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. but of course, even at the actual place where these unspeakable things happened, it still remains a bit unreal. it is impossible to imagine what it must have been like. and the whole thing is so massive, it is certain pictures, details that really hit home. there was one photo in particular that i cannot get out of my head: a dead prisoner hanging upside down in barbed wire, as if caught in a wobbly backflip.

the grey grey grey of the place, the barbed wire, the rusty locks, the dirty windows, wingless flies, trapped spiders - haunting.


gas chamber, mauthausen



wall, mauthausen



lock, crematorium, mauthausen



greyness: mauthausen in the rain


for more pictures, see my mauthausen album at flickr.

* * * * *
wednesday afternoon i took lotta and janne to my beloved central cemetery, where we strolled around in the old jewish section, had a look at the church and visited the graves of famous austrians. then i rushed to the supermarket and home to get everything ready for the party at my place.

and it was a great party, so thanks to lotta, janne, valerio, birgit, babs, andi, tom, ulli, ruth, bruno, ronnie, harold, daniela, tarkin, and hillary for coming along and making the night special and helping me get rid of the beer and wine and food. ;) it was lovely to see how my friends from so many different places (united states, italy, germany, mexico, peru, sweden), who had never met before, chatted away and laughed and danced.


who's the weirdest of them all?
valerio, ronnie, hillary



having fun, are we? lotta, valerio, me



beer addicts bruno, ruth, hillary


for more party pics, follow the link to my flickr party album.

* * * * *
on thursday, i met up with my two swedes after their tour around schönbrunn. we did quite a bit of walking, visited the sphinxes at the belvedere, then had a bottle of wine and pizza at my place, before it was time to say goodbye again, as lotta and janne left on friday, and i had to work. i hope they come back soon! :)

* * * * *
friday evening i went to the kafka, and valerio joined me for the second half of the open mic. i read three of my naughtier poems towards the end. then, one last late-night walk with valerio, and an adiós to el caballero for a lot longer than just a couple of days, as he left for mexico on saturday. i *do* miss the guy.


song of the day: spooky by dusty springfield.

vienna lit fest 2008 - day 2

no time for anything, so no time for blogging, but here is day 2 of the lit fest:

julia had asked me to pick up british poet rommi smith at one of the train stations and take her to the lunch reception for us vienna lit VIPs. *g* the reception was at josephine's house in the 19th district - very beautiful part of the city. it was lovely to talk with rommi on the way there - about her workshop at a school, about poetry, about life.

at the reception i met clare murphy and joe brennan, two irish storytellers who liz gallagher put me - or rather julia, the director - in touch with. they are such lovely people, and great fun, too. i bumped into nigerian poet charles ofoedu there for the first time in over ten years - he used to be good friends with my friend tom. i met mehru jaffer, gabriele pötscher (who co-wrote two books with an old acquaintance of mine, walter hölbling), bruce holland rogers, our host josephine, and brian patten and sylvia petter were there, too. great food, interesting discussions, a lot of laughter, and some sunshine - not a bad friday afternoon!


clare murphy going all jackie o. and joe brennan pretending not to care



at the reception: sylvia petter, brian patten, gabriele pötscher, brian's partner linda, charles ofoedu, bruce holland rogers


i was at the venue, ratpack, at 6, in time for the school slam. students between 14 and 18 had responded to a poem by jackie kay, and the final 18 presented their work on stage at ratpack and a jury of three women, including jackie kay herself, chose a winner and two runners-up (and, as it were, one HM). you've really got to admire those young people - i don't think i could have read an english poem to an audience of 100+ at that age! i would have been way too nervous, and anyway, what few poems i had written at the time, well, they were not exactly great. :)


school slam winner!


after the slam, bruce holland rogers from the united states read some of his short short stories. i particularly enjoyed one called egypt, which was rather funny.

next up was one of the events i had really been looking forward to: clare murphy and joe brennan, the two irish storytellers. they were fantastic. i don't think there was anyone in the audience who was not spellbound. people were listening and watching open-mouthed.

joe's frog story was great fun, the audience was asked to join in, and i just loved how that seemed to bring out the child in so many! do visit joe's website.


joe brennan in action

i loved the long story that clare told, an irish tale. do go and check clare out on youtube and stop by her myspace site.


clare murphy, storyteller extraordinaire



happy clare and happy joe after their performances


gabriele pötscher (graz-based american) and walter hölbling (graz-based austrian) read from their two collections of poetry, one of which i had read some years ago. i particularly enjoyed gabriele's tongue-in-cheek and sassy poems. it was also great to finally meet walter after so many years of corresponding online.

julia had asked me to read my poem how to survive in vienna, the poem published in the vienna views anthology in 2006, at the open mic. i was the second or third reader at the open mic and read the requested poem as well as a vienna-themed poem from small confessions & pebbles of regret. i got immediate reactions there - people smiling, chuckling, etc - and quite a bit of applause!

i would have stayed longer, but clare and joe asked me to join them for food and drinks, so i left, together with the storytellers, harold, a couple of vienna lit girls and georg in his kilt. we had a great time, and clare seemed to come to life again after having eaten more than two grown men ... *g*

i got home very late, but happy and feeling, well, YAY!! :)


day 3 to follow - pictures ditto.

song of the day: westwards we're headed by lucky jim.

café kafka

as promised - pics of the latest open mic at café kafka (friday, 04 april). my new - and very brave - friend valerio decided to come along, and what's even better: he did not regret it afterwards!

i read what is the sound of one hand clapping?, and one of the letters from small confessions & pebbles of regret. cristina, the special guest from mexico, asked me to read the german translations of two poems for her, so there was a first for me - reading in german! we took tons of photos, i loved hillary keel's poem about istanbul, and martin aka homemade gordon banks is just the bestest mc ever. especially in spanish. :)

the reading part was over around 11.45, and then we stayed to chat with some of the regulars, and the newly-weds ruth & bruno dropped in ... and i did not get home until 2 am!


martin, bestest mc in the whole wide ... erm, wien?


blurry but having fun: valerio & i


hillary & harold


happiness has a name: ruth & bruno, the newlyweds


valerio has a laugh


two lovely ladies - ruth & i


more pictures on my flickr page .

song of the day: madagascar by gogol bordello.

what i've been meaning to blog about but never got around to ...

so much for my time off work: of course, me being me, i had to come down with a bad cold and a fever for a few days. i am sure it had nothing to do with me standing around in the chilly morning air last sunday ... duh. :)

monday: farewell to the loveliest bunch of students ever. i was almost embarrassed by all the wonderful feedback. and one student told me that she was particuarly impressed with me as a person, even more than me as a teacher. does feedback get any better than this? we went for lunch and ice-cream after class. unfortunately, not everyone could come, but ... i am sure they were there in spirit.


apples make a girl happy - nadine



andy and "his" martha



werner, doro, marianne



the wild teacher and the crazy bunch

* * * * *
tuesday, i went to one of my favourite haunts again, the central cemetery. i spent several hours in the new jewish section, where i had never been before, and took lots of photos. later that afternoon, ronnie joined me, and we walked around some other parts of that beautiful place for a while longer. here are some pictures - for more, please visit my flickr page.











* * * * *
wednesday, there were people to see, but i was feeling blah - and when i got home around eight, i knew why: 38C, my thermometer said. so, off to bed, and i guess i sweated most of it out. i was supposed to be working thursday afternoon and evening, but that had to be cancelled. :(

the good thing about thursday was that i received the ten author's copies of small confessions & pebbles of regret, as well as loch raven review 2007, and carolyn guinzio's west pullman.

friday, i felt up to going to the open mic at night, but i will blog more about that later, when i have edited the tons of photos!

another week i did not make it to the movies - but i got to watch into the wild with my students last week, it is fantastic. very beautiful, and my students found it as moving as i did.

song of the day: ask the mountains (extended version) by vangelis & stina nordenstam.

no more sick girl!

this girl is no longer sick. well, sure, some people would start coughing discreetly if they caught me claiming that, but they're all friends of mine, so that's alright. ;)

it was soooooo lovely to see my students' faces light up on seeing *this* girl and not a sub-girl (or guy). it was also nice to have a guest speaker in my afternoon class, which meant i could get some prep work done and actually get paid for that (and playing scrabulous *g*).

this bug-free girl went to the poetry reading on friday - it was rather quiet, some of the usual suspects were missing. i rdead, but was not too happy with my performance. maybe because i was not sure about what to read, up until the last moment. and perhaps because my mind was elsewhere, at least part of the time. ;)

this single girl didn't have such a great saturday afternoon: decided to finally put all things wedding in a box - dress, bag, cards, etc - and had a bit of a breakdown. strange mood ensued. thanks again to the wonderfully wise, witty & lovely nicole for cheering up (and on). and to v. for making me laugh. repeatedly.

this smart girl finally beat david at scrabble ... and he sooo deserved this revenge of the most scrabulous woman!

this girl was positively bouncy today. spring in the air?

and this girl has the song of the day looped in her mind (does that make me loopy?) -

song of the day - with a nod to valerio: start wearing purple by gogol bordello.

late night post-kafka blog post

it's 02:22 and i only got back from the open mic at café kafka ten minutes ago (and that only because michi + night bus = perfect timing)! i really enjoyed tonight, some really, really good stuff, also fun stuff. if i had not arranged to present my chap"box" tonight, i would not have gone, because i fell asleep in the afternoon and woke up with a temperature and felt totally knackered.

i thought there might not be too many people tonight, what with christmas coming up, but it was packed. it was nice to catch up with the regulars, and talk to a few new faces.

i read five poems from secret meanings and have sold all remaining chap"box" copies. the reading went well, too - i was a bit worried, because i did not feel 100% fit, but i was quite happy with it. :)

and afterwards: chat chat chat and lots of laughter. did me good. thanks for listening, jean. thanks for the free "homemade" therapy, martin. *g* thanks for letting me flirt a little, too, hillary. ;)

and now i am sitting here wondering whether nathan has found his pear novel again, or is still looking for it all over vienna ...

song of the day: hey ya by the outkast.

the written & spoken word

yay! kaleidowhirl accepted one of my periodic table prose poems, Promethium (Pm) - The day I fell in love with a thief for their june issue. i'm happy! :)

even though i was totally knackered, i dragged myself to the open mic last night. i had already missed two, and thought it was about time the people got to hear my voice again. not. ;) i read my abecedarian still life with blue voice, and the sonnenizio on a line from neruda - Waking. people were still coming in when i read the abecedarian, and it was a little noisy, but i think i had everyone's attention when i read the sonnenizio. i think i did a much better job on that one.

karin kaminker was featured poet, and i enjoyed her work a lot. a montreal-based performance poet stood out, excellent, and fun. i talked to a few people during the break and afterwards, staying a lot longer than intended.

round 2 of 10:10 started with a poem called ain't misbehavin'. we'll see what happens next.

it's raining in vienna today, and i think i deserve a lazy day.

song of the day: please baby don't by sergio mendes feat john legend.