monkeys & owls, sunshine & rain - england day 10

i felt much better this morning. took a walk along the beach - it was terribly windy. i so enjoy watching the waves and the birds, and get a kick out of the patterns made by sand, wind, water ... the rivulets, the colours, foot/pawprints, and of course the ever changing light. breakfast time then, full english breakfast (minus the sausager), just as it should be. this is, after all, england. and when in rome, do as the romans do, right? though i must add i won't go so far as to walk along the beach barefoot in this kind of weather!

i made my way to the same area where i visited the butterflies yesterday, but today it was for quite different animals: mainly monkeys and owls, but also some other birds. the owl & monkey haven is an award-winning attraction that is home to rescued primates/monkeys and birds. i heard a few stories about some of the animals - they included accounts of neglected monkeys, one rhesus macaque that simply turned up in someone's garden on the mainland, owls that were ignored by their owl parents and were lucky enough to find human parents at the haven, monkeys that were "mobbed" by their own kind, etc.

i got to see a two year old male eagle-owl named ketch close-up, and to actually touch it. fascinating creatures. i must say the way they swivel their head around always slightly freaks me out - i swear i can almost hear the "snap!" sound of a broken neck! apparently owls are fairly lazy and won't leave their trees for days after they've eaten. there they sit until they start to feel hungry again ...

i had a good look around at the colobus monkeys (odd creatures, with their long whitish tails that fan out when they jump), rhesus macaques (such fun! and the noises they make! smelly though ... ugh), capuchins, marmosets (too cute!), langurs, gibbons, siamangs, eagle-owls, snowy owls, barn owls, tawny owls, the two buzzards, and the kookaburras. i learned something, i laughed, and took lots of pictures ... and (according to "when in rome ...) treated myself to some delicious clotted cream tea.

after a walk along ryde pier, i made my way back to sandown, where i went to the glassblower's round the corner and then had a pleasant chat with steve, the owner, in his overflowing gift shop. it looked like a pleasant evening, so i decided to go for another walk along the beach, grabbed my cameras, and ... as soon as i reached the beach (all of a minute away), guess what ... yep: rain! it's been like this all day today ... get on the bus: sun comes out; get off the bus: cold and windy or rain. but i didn't want to be beaten. i thought it might only be a two-minute shower. i was wrong. wrapping my big camera up like a baby, i marched on. and after only about 15 minutes, the rain stopped. yay! beautiful light, so clear, filtered by the clouds ... gorgeous. well worth it.

indian veg curry & garlic naan well deserved then! i was thinking about going out again to take some night-time pictures, but i think i've had enough rain ... ;) here's the only pic i have so far:


those eyes!


song of the day: l'anno che verrà by lucio dalla.

butterflies & a seaside town - england day 9

the i felt worse when i woke up this morning than i did yesterday, so i stayed in bed reading and writing postcards for a while. then, despite my too-high-temperature, i decided to go to the isle of wight butterfly world anyway.

i spent some very pleasant - and very hot - hours in the company of butterflies from all over the world: the tailed jay, the blue glassy tiger, the malachite, the common mormon, the tree nymph, various swallowtails, various longwings, the giant orange-tip, the blue morpho, and others.

some of them would sit still for a long time, while others are the fluttery creatures we all know ... the giant blue morpho, which is the size of a small bird and reminds me of something out of some animated film, has bright, iridiscent blue wings. they do sit still - but then they immediately fold up. and on the underside the giant blue morpho is nowhere near as bright. it's brown, with what looks like differently sized eyes. so it's extremely hard to get a picture of it ... i think i managed two slightly blurry ones, that's all. one actually sat ON me for a few heartbeats though!

some were frightfully hard to see - i am sure there were at least twice as many butterflies as i saw. one - not sure which species - seemed to have overdosed on banana: its wing got stuck to the banana slice, and it could not get away anymore. a staff member had to pick it up and put it on a leaf.

there were also rows of chrysalises - bright yellow, bright green, blackish, brownish like leaves ... some of them looked like jewellery! i was hoping to see a butterfly hatch, but no such luck. a green one twitched a couple of times, but i was told they do that occasionally. apparently they even react to being tickled!

of course i took lots of photos, here are the only four i have edited so far:


orange meets pink



pale



close-up



black & yellow


i stopped in ryde on the way back, walked around for a while, sat by the beach as it was quite pleasantly warm and sunny, and then went in search of food - which i found in the shape of a pizza at michelangelo's restaurant, just across from the pier. and now, at 10:30, it's time for bed.


song of the day: broken butterflies by lucinda williams.

english weather & italian food - england day 8

the nasty little buggers inside my chest are still quite well, it seems. better than i am, at any rate. i've still had a bit of a temperature all day, and i tire easily. breathing is harder than usual, and the sounds that emerge from my chest area alternately make me chuckle and worry.

i took a short, very slow walk by the beach before breakfast, and after breakfast went to look at the sunny day from my window seat, watching the tide go out and, later in the day, come back in. i love, love, love the sea!

i edited some of the hundreds of photos i have already taken (probably a blessing in disguise, this sickness, huh?), read some poetry, talked to heinz, dozed off a couple of times. thicker clouds moved in by mid-afternoon. it was quite cosy inside, and i was tired, but nevertheless - sick or not - a girl's got to eat.

i'd been craving italian food for days, so i checked the area for italian restaurants on the www. shanklin! practically just down the road. so i dressed nicely and ventured out. it had been dry since morning, but of course, as soon as i set foot on the street, it started to rain. not very nice, so i didn't walk around much in shanklin, but made for the restaurant (mamma mia, run by actual italians). delicious food (veggie lasagna and a huge serving of garlic bread), and for entertainment i watched two of the young employees putting up the last part of a huge wall poster.

when i made my way back to sandown, it was pouring down ... though it has gotten worse since. makes it all the nicer to be in my neat little room.

i'm glad i decided to change my flight back, because i probably would have passed out from fatigue somewhere along the way from here to vienna tomorrow, what with the luggage and flying and all. better this way, although i am missing out on a long overdue meeting with a former business english class and the psychotherapy fair on saturday.

i hope to feel good enough to go out for a few hours tomorrow. nice as it is in my room, i am beginning to get cabin fever!


song of the day: mamma mia by abba.

feverish bird-watching - england day 5

i slept until 08:30, with a few minor interruptions. i still had a fever and felt lousy. i dragged my body into the shower, then to the co-op for some groceries and a packet of nurofen. at the supermarket i felt as if my knees would buckle any moment, and i would faint. blah. had a rather small breakfast today, then crawled into bed. found out that nurofen should not be taken while on SSRIs and/or anti-depressants, but i decided to take one anyway. i'm still alive and fairly okay 8 hours later ... but might get something else at the pharmacy tomorrow. just as i was about to put my laptop away, heinz called. it was only a brief talk, as i was almost falling asleep. i slept (and sweated) for three hours. did me good.

i spent the afternoon reading, blogging, sitting by the window wrapped in blankets just looking at the sea, watching people and, especially, birds. it just fascinates me how they ride the wind, the currents, how they do as little as possible, just shift a little, adjust the angle of a wing now and again, move their heads here and there - and i found myself comparing them to kids on swings or water slides or merry-go-rounds or simply spinning, arms outstretched, doing the same thing over and over again, happily squealing with the excitement and joy of it.

my temperature has gone down, though i feel rather tired now, and my eyes are aching. i will try to get as much sleep as possible after my dinner of coleslaw, cheddar, cucumber and bread (guess where i am, lol!).

i have also thought about this fever/cold. i guess it's just another lesson in the ongoing tailor-made-for-michi programme "taking care of myself". i suppose i should have taken it easy and not walked quite so far on days 2 and 3, what with the chill wind and all, and not having walked so much since last autumn. i guess i should have listened to my body on day 2, when it seemed to try to tell me at the arboretum near newport that perhaps it was enough, that perhaps it was okay to take the bus back instead of ploughing ontowards east cowes, no? i remember telling myself that it was fine to go on, the exercise would do me good, make me tired, make me sleep well. but my body had a point. i really need to listen to it much more carefully. on day 3, at bembridge, i did that. i caught the bus back instead of trying to prove something to myself or whoever would care to watch or listen. looking back, i should have done less on day 2. walked along the beach, perhaps. and instead left longer hikes for a little later. i came here to relax, too, and of course, that's the first thing i neglect, because i always want to make the most of everything, forgetting that sometimes less is in fact more, is better for me. so yes, body, i got the message: you, we needed a day of rest. it hit home, and i might not forget so easily, because i really regretted having to stay indoors today, as it was such a lovely, sunny day.

as for the drugs: i still feel dizzy and nauseous in the mornings, though better during the day - not sure if it's because of the exercise and fresh air, or because the side effects are beginning to disappear. my eyes still seem weird at times, but it's better, too.

i'm hoping to get plenty of sleep and feel much better tomorrow! for now, i'll just watch some more birds.


song of the day: i like birds by the eels.

needles, cliffs, the sea, tennyson & half a dead fox - england day 4

what did i wake up to? a blue sky! so i decided not to go to london after all, because i didn't want to risk missing out on a hike on what might possibly be the only sunny day during this holiday. instead, i took the bus to revisit a couple of places i'd been to in the 90s, starting at alum bay.

alum bay is famous for its multi-coloured sands and the fact that, due to geological folding, you can find vertical layers of rock instead of horizontal layers - younger rocks to the west and older rocks to the east. quite stunningly beautiful. until recently i did not know that guglielmo marconi moved here at the end of the 19th century and experimented with radio, communicating with ships offshore.

i did not go down to the beach, however, but instead walked to the needles battery and the needles viewpoint. the needles are three stacks of chalk rising out of the sea just off the shore at the isle's westernmost point. they don't actually look like needles at all, but that is easily explained: there was actually one shaped like a needle, called lot's wife, but it collapsed ages ago. the name, however, stuck. the needles lighthouse is iconic - just walk into any souvenir shop on the island, and it will greet you a hundred times.

queen victoria may have been the most famous resident on the island, but another VIP, so to speak, spent many, many years here: alfred lord tennyson, poet laureate. he owned a house on the island and was a permanent resident for one and a half decades, before he "fled" from the starstruck tourists who kept pestering him, returning to the island during the quiet winters. it was up the hill named after him (tennyson down) that i walked to the memorial erected in his memory, up on a clifftop 147m above the sea, silently reciting lines from his "lady of shalott". i inwardly groaned when some folks up by the memorial were wondering what the "poet, wasn't he" had written and came up with "i wandered lonely as a cloud" ... call me a snob, but - ouch. poor wordsworth, poor tennyson.

it was so beautiful up there, and though it was quite windy at the top, the more than welcome sun made such a difference! i walked on towards freshwater bay, where i stopped for a hot drink, then walked on along the coastal path towards brook. ah, the sea! if there is one thing i would change about my home country it is the fact that it's landlocked. i have always loved the sea. it has never scared me, always drawn me to it. there's something about it that is healing, comforting. i also love the fact that its mood can change like a person's ... from calm and inviting to turmoil, fury and bleakness. it's as if it reflected a person's emotions, inner life.

i walked past tucked away little bays, among gorse bushes, encountered the first two bumblebeesof the season, saw a lot of smiling faces, took plenty of pictures, enjoyed the views all around, and - almost stumbled over half a dead fox. the first thought was "oh, brilliant!" what does that say about me? ha. it looked quite bizarre - only the front half of the animal was left fairly intact ... the rest ... well ... don't ask. i'll post a picture later.

not far from the fox, a bloody wing. above me, seagulls and crows circling and screeching, riding the currents. life and death.

i got to brook chine much sooner than i'd expected, so i went down and sat on the beach for a bit, soaking up some good sea, sun & sand vibes. at the bus stop i stretched out on the bench, face tilted towards the sun, listening to the crows making a racket in the adjacent field, and i could have fallen asleep there, it was so peaceful!

back in sandown, i once again found that nothing beats a long, hot shower after a 14 or 15 km hike. bliss! i felt like dining out, so i put on some decent clothes for a change, no muddy boots or hiking gear. in celebration of me i even put on lipstick! ;) i went to the indian restaurant for some kadai paneer and tandoori roti, and i actually allowed myself the first half pint of cider in ages.

i barely drink alcohol anymore - i went teetotal in 2007, because i did not want to mix my psychotropic drugs with alcohol. i didn't actually mind all that much. when i went off the pills, i found that wine didn't do me good anymore - unfortunately, because i had always enjoyed a glass of shiraz. wines tend to make me anxious and slightly paranoid now. funnily enough, i am alright with some bailey's or even a small caipirinha now and again. anyway, so i thought i'd see how cider agrees with me these days. i spent an hour eating and reading "being alive", being particularly struck by simon armitage's "Not the Furniture Game".

back in my room, i had another video chat with heinz. i had felt hot and my eyes had hurt after my hike, but i'd put it down to the sun, wind and exercise. however, by about 10:30 i was convinced something was wrong. well, 38°C body temperature, that's what was wrong with me. aaaaarghhhh! so, off to bed. i went from burning up to teeth chattering cold until i eventually fell asleep.

here are some photos!


view of the needles



gorse - south england's light



alum bay



freshwater bay



tennyson memorial



half a dead fox



reflective bird


song of the day: the lady of shalott by loreena mckennitt, based on the poem by alfred lord tennyson.

sunshine

it's summer - or so it seems. it has been waaaay too warm for about a week now - up to 27°C (that's about 80F for you americans *G*), picture-book blue sky, barely any wind ... gorgeous. the only down side is that my allergy is worse than last year when it was a lot wetter, and we'd actually had a proper winter. so, since birch trees and hazelnuts don't like me, it's red eyes and sneezing at the moment ...

life has been
crazysadtoughsunnylonelyblackhappydarkscarywhitechallenging and more, lately.

i've been reading john siddique's poems from a northern soul, the latest issue of poetry salzburg review (john siddique has a few poems in it), and marie howe's what the living do. here is one of her poems:

Separation

Driving out of town, I see him crossing
the Brooks Pharmacy parking lot, and remember

how he would drop to his knees in the kitchen
and press his face to my dress, his cheek flat against

my belly as if he were listening for something.
Somebody might be waiting for coffee in the living room,

someone might be setting the dining room table, he'd
place his face under my dress and press his cheek

against my belly and kneel there, without saying anything.
How is it possible that I am allowed to see him

like this - walking quickly by the glass windows?

- what he wears in the world without me,
his hands swinging by his side, his cock quiet

in his jeans, his shirt covering
his shoulders, his own tongue in his mouth.

Marie Howe

i am not writing, but i will try to get back into the swing of things soon. i need new material to submit, and i miss writing.

song of the day: where did my baby go? by john legend.