Friday, October 12, 2007

mind matters

my fever's gone, my neck doesn't hurt all that much anymore (i was actually able to sleep about 4 hours last night!), and so i finally made it to that clinic (kriseninterventionszentrum) i mentioned a few days ago. sepp came along, because i'd asked him to, as i was a little scared that i might feel uncomfortable and very nervous or not go at all. the doctor/therapist i spoke to was very nice, and i found it easy to talk about everything that had happened, about my symptoms, fears, worries.

i told him that i am off alcohol and my beloved earl grey and darjeeling tea (which he thought was smart), but that no way would i go off chocolate, no matter whether it is good or bad for certain processes going on in my brain. i need my dose of happy hormones! ;)

i also shared my concerns re taking pills, and while he can see why i am cautious, he told me that the most important thing seems to be my sleep. so he suggested that i take a small dose of trittico retard every day before bedtime to treat my insomnia; it's also a mild anti-depressant. he also gave me a couple of xanor (alprazolam) just in case, for really bad panic attacks. he thinks the mere fact that i have those pills might make me feel safer, less anxious.

of course he agrees that therapy would be best. i'm going to contact a couple of therapists next week, and on the 23rd i have another appointment at the clinic.

i've been rather down the last couple of days, not so panicky, but sad - because of a (non-)anniversary (tomorrow), and the fact that 2 months ago i thought i might be going to california again around this time.

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poetry news:

poemeleon has accepted two elements poems (Silicon, Caesium) for their prose poem issue due to be published in December.

womb editor michelle detorie informed me that she'd love to use one of my poems (who's keeping time with the timekeeper's daughter, when the timekeeper's out keeping time) for a special "daughters" issue. i was especially pleased since i was not sure whether my submission was still under consideration, and because i am partial to that poem.

the issue of cahoots with some of my work is scheduled for 3rd december.

and kristy at dancing girl press is busy putting the finishing touches on my chapbook! yay!

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here are a few pics of my sunday stroll through a nearby park, oberlaa:

song of the day: if i have to go by tom waits.

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