stuff (which is a very, very original headline)

photography

in a comment on a recent blog post, sara asked this:

what is it about photography that seems to really attract poets? (including me) of all the other arts, it seems poets most gravitate to music and photography. music makes such obvious sense. but what is it, i wonder, about photography?

interesting, because i had been thinking about what *i* am looking for in photography, what attracts me when i am out to take pictures, what i am trying to capture, and i had been wondering about what poetry and photography have in common.

for one thing, it's imperfections that attract me: i'll choose a faded, wilting rose over a perfect blossom any day, because it tells a much more interesting story, and has more "character". i love trying to find beauty (and again, i am not talking about perfection) or a story in unlikely places, in cityscapes, in places that at a first glance might not be considered attractive, interesting, let alone beautiful. i am looking for contrasts, for something special in what we see every day. i am trying to find new angles of looking at things, details that others will not even notice.

and isn't all that what poets do? walk through the world with their eyes open, capturing things that many people might not see at all, or if they do, then look at them in a new, original way? and surely poets have to pay attention to detail.

sure, they are different media, but i think they have a lot more in common than one might assume.

work

it's been going well, i am enjoying the english class in amstetten, and i think so are my students. and of course i am learning a lot, too. i have quite a bit of prep work to do, but i get a lot done on the train. another two weeks to go. what worries me, is that i haven't got anything for december yet.

health

i had another appointment with the doctor on tuesday. he seemed a bit worried that the sertralin doesn't seem to be doing much except make me feel nauseous, and that i have not been sleeping as well as i used to. i said it might have to do with the divorce, which was on my mind a lot of the time, and which i was not exactly looking forward to (being scared of panic attacks, etc). so we decided that i continue as usual except wednesday, and the doctor left it up to me whether i wanted to take one sertralin instead of a half starting saturday. i decided to try, and it made me feel quite sick. we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

after my panic attack monday night, the doctor said to take a whole xanor on tuesday evening, perhaps a whole sertralin on wednesday, and another xanor on the way to court. and that is what i did. i cannot believe there are people who take up to 3 xanor daily. they must be completely subdued and kind of beside themselves. i felt really tired and a bit odd after all these pills. but at least i did not have any symptoms of anxiety.

i have another appointment on tuesday, and it is quite possible that we have to increase dosage of one thing or another. sigh.

i've lost quite a lot of weight lately, which is not bad in itself, but it has happened a little fast ... the other day i thought i was being very optimistic and tried on an old pair of jeans 3 sizes smaller than what i wore before the summer, and they fit.

music

i am at the arcade fire concert tonight, quite looking forward to it, and i am hoping that i won't feel too uncomfortable in the crowd (i always stay at the back or side anyway). the only thing i don't fancy is going outside again: it is chilly with a very fierce northerly wind, and it's wet, too. ugh.

egami rorrim




song of the day: no cars go by the arcade fire.